In my paper, I am worried that I do not explain enough about my show. I tried not make my paper more interesting by cutting out all the details of the show. The only time I mention specifics about the show is when I talk about the actives getting "treatments." I quickly explained what an active was and what a treatment is, but i am not sure if it makes sense to someone who has never seen the show.
"In Dollhouse, the actives (programmable humans who can receive different personalities in order to do whatever a client wishes) receive treatments. These treatments erase the memory of the zombie-like beings so they can have different personalities inserted into them."
If you could let me know if I need to be more specific or not I would greatly appreciate that.
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I would say, coming from someone who has never seen Dollhouse, that a little more background information may be useful. Just by reading this, I am not too sure what is going on. You don't need to summarize the whole show by any means, but a little more information may be helpful.
ReplyDeleteYour paragraph was a good, quick explanation of the show, as long as that's all you wanted to say about it. I am pretty sure that the commonplace paper doesn't have to be about our show at all, because mine's really not, and Leslie said that's fine. But my show has been over for a few years so it's not very timely...
ReplyDeleteI think your sentence is fine. It's to the point and I'm sure any type of explanation needed was already said earlier in the paper. I feel you though on your paper not relating to your show as much as you might want it to. I feel as my paper doesn't revolve around my episode like my arp paper did, but I guess that's not a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteI, personally, have never seen Dollhouse and I think you did a pretty good job of explaining what goes on within. The only thing that I wish you would elaborate on is what exactly is the "Dollhouse," why is it called the dollhouse, and how did it come about to be?
ReplyDeleteI would definately include an introductory paragraph explaining what "Dollhouse" is about. Overall it would let the reader gain further insight on your article but I wouldn't make it too long.
ReplyDeleteI am completely opposite of your problem. I feel like my paper is focusing on too much of my ARP. However, you should talk about what the show is about and how it leads on to these "treatments" you are talking about. It will be better to introduce your ARP topic that you are tying in because the reader will understand your point much better.
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